Just when I thought I felt like writing more often, haha. My personal life has taken a bit of a spin. I am losing my partner of the past six years and that in itself makes me said. She was a great teacher for me, from whom I have learned many things. I will take them with me wherever the road leads from here. I hurt myself pretty badly about a month ago and have had a lot of trouble with mobility, which has been something new to me. I am now under some excellent wellness care and hope that my condition can improve.
When life starts to come at you from all sides, it's hard to stay focused on what's important. Daily routines alone, including work and personal concerns, can be enough for one to lose focus, but toss in a few black swans and things can get rough. I'm in a time now of upheaval. I have been trying to meditate steadily, but it's been hard. It happens. Everything is cyclical in nature. I try to remember the words of one of my early "gurus", Wayne Dyer, who is fond of saying that the answer is always to "go within." All I have been getting back for weeks now in meditation is "Dark night of the soul." I don't know what it means for me. Wikipedia has an explanation, but as of right now I don't have context other than the general upheaval, frustration and an ominous unknown component in my life at this time.
I forget where I heard the phrase first, but I have kept it close in my being for over a decade now, "There is wisdom in uncertainty." I will try and keep that in the forefront of my mind.
