Each of us interprets the physical world in our own way. Terence McKenna described this individual world view as our reality tunnel. We each have one. It is the construct through which we view and experience the world... a combination of all kinds of data, from sensory input to belief systems, from learned behavior to observations. I call my reality tunnel my Mosaic. Add atop your particular reality tunnel the concept of your culture as an operating system, which is another McKenna assertion. In the mid-90's (prior to my in-depth introduction into McKenna) at the suggestion of a computer engineer friend, I was presented with the challenge of trying to deconstruct my reality tunnel, which my friend referred to as The Framework or The Construct at the time. As a life-long seeker, I was fascinated at the proposition and where the search to complete such a task would lead me.
I had been initially raised Catholic and when I was about ten years of age my family converted to Pentecostalism. During the latter Pentecostal years, I was exposed to a wide variety of spiritual experiences and teachings... being slain in the spirit, dancing, tongues, etc. and saw many healers of renown at the time in person. During my teens and into my twenties I held those shared experiences and beliefs in my mosaic, although that mosaic is always changing based on new input. What followed in the years after was a study of Tibetan Buddhism in the late 90's and eventually Kabbalah in 2003. For several years in the late 90's, I listened to recordings of the Dalai Lama almost daily. I began regular meditation and eventually expanded my meditation to include time in nature, rather than only meditating in my home.
It was during that time that I discovered a place in meditation that I called The Field. The Field is a void, that to my perception didn't necessarily have a bottom per se, but a silver-grey mist, just above which I would find myself. I could often sense the presence of others within the field, mostly at what seemed to be great distance, yet I never communicated with anyone directly there in terms of receiving a response. I sensed that it wasn't about that type of communication as much as this was some kind of field of intention... that anything I put into it in terms of thought energy would ripple out from me like rings from a drop of water hitting a liquid surface. My time actively going to the field resulted in what I believe were major breakthroughs in terms of my own spiritual growth and additions to my ever-growing mosaic. The ensuing years led to me actively going back to the things that frightened me the most during my childhood and confronting them in the physical world. More on that in some future post... I digress...
I've always thought that the arc of my life story was similar to that of Richard Dreyfus' character in Steven Spielberg's "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", sans spaceships. For most of my life, I have felt as if I am searching for something that is particularly connected with my soul, inner being or essence. It's not so much a quest for meaning. It's more of a quest to remember something... some things... that seem to be juxtaposed to my physical perceptions tightly... so close, yet just outside of my grasp in daily life. As the years go by, I have found that levels of awakening come in many different forms, as in the Spiritual Wind phenomenon that I described in my last post.
What arrived last November and has been keeping me busy for the past couple of months was searching astral projection, soul journeys and life between lives. I have since read "The Presence of Other Worlds" by Wilson Van Dusen, which is a study of the works of Emanuel Swedenborg, a Swedish scientist, philosopher and theologian, which I found eye-opening to say the least, especially with my theology-heavy childhood. So much of what was described in the book resonated with me. Highly recommended for the seeker in terms of a greater understanding of reality.
In addition to the aforementioned, I read a few books on astral projection, most notably two books by author and astral traveler Robert Monroe, "Far Journeys" and "Ultimate Journey", the second and third books in a trilogy. After Van Dusen's book, Monroe catapulted me into another awareness... one that involves remembering. Monroe is probably one of the best-known astral travelers in recent history, and during his physical time here did so much work in the astral plane and beyond that he left behind a virtual road map of other-worldly terrain that is accessible to each of us through our inner selves. My mosaic has grown immensely. So much of what Monroe described came as deja-vu to me, as if I knew that I had the same abilities, even if they hadn't been used in some time.
I had actively astral traveled as a child. At various times I have also had dreams of flying. Although I have never had deliberate astral travel experience in my younger years, I recall how sometimes the two would merge... I would be flying within a dream, become lucid, and the two experiences would merge as I would find myself flying over my house and neighborhood. After reading some books on the subject recently, I have recalled various instances during my adult life that must have been, in hindsight, the oncoming of an astral projection experience. The gateway experience as a child I have forgotten, although I remember it to be pleasant. However, at least in the would-be oncomings of an astral experience in adulthood that I can identify now with hindsight, the gateway experience can be terrifying if you don't know what's happening. Whether in rem-sleep at the time or just quietly sleeping or meditating, the beginning of an astral projection can feel like you're having a seizure. Your body can begin to buzz, vibrate; you can hear crackling, cracking or pops in your ears and it feels like your nervous system is about to short circuit, yet there is no pain. I realized after reading Monroe's books that I had several experiences like that in years prior that I had forced myself to awaken from instead of taking the ride.
I have started to set aside a time to get back in touch with this ability once or twice a week. We'll see what happens, if anything. I have gotten the feeling since last November that part of the information that I received is somehow coming from that realm or realms. I had met friends in my astral travels as a child, whom I called Them. They showed me things about myself, much of which I'm sure I've forgotten. Spirit guides of some kind, yet so eerily similar to the types of energetic beings that Monroe described that it's sort of creepy, but not really. Somehow they are familiar in ways I can't describe, at least not yet... or at least until the next spiritual wind blows in.
